Wednesday, June 8, 2016

I’m back to blogging again!



I am so happy to be writing again!

The ability for me to write and share my stuff on my blog again is liberating. It became so tough for me to continue with my blog because the purpose of a blog is to share my thoughts and true feelings. It’s so tough to share your thoughts and true feelings on a blog in a time where people can take your stuff and share it out of context. I have been so hurt in the past by friends and people I really loved and trusted that I decided to take a break and just deal with my heart before I make a mistake and start diarising all my private things in my blog. I didn‘t want to humiliate those people in that way. If I did that I knew I would be focusing on negativity and all I needed was to be strong and build on the character I needed to start living my life again.
It is really tough to live a life with no real friends or people to share stuff with but honestly I have become so used to it that these days I think that having friends is a useless thing. Friends do nothing for me.So, back on the grind! I am happy that after such a long time I’ve got my groove back.

I recently read Bonang Matheba’s blog and these are some of the points I took with me from  what I read; (not that I didn’t know all this, but it was a reminder that I dearly needed and for that I am grateful).

In order to make your dreams come true, you need to:
·       Decide on what it is that you want exactly
·       Be clear about what you want
·       Have a detailed plan
·       Keep a diary and write all your goals down
·       Never be scared to ask for help, advice or guidance from others
·       Work on your goals every single day.

Further on, I had been thinking a lot about making my own dreams come true but had been procrastinating so badly. Reading her blog reminded me of who I used to be, how my life used to be and how I had been an over-achiever all my life before I enrolled for my full-time studies. A lot happened. I fell off the wagon of success so badly I almost stopped believing in myself. I fell in love and pushed my own dreams aside. She reminded me that: “…It’s very easy to lose momentum and dwell on the noise, the hate and things that don’t build but destroy.Keep a journal of all your goals, the progress made and how far you still have to go. We all need to go back to basics every now and then, and be reminded of all the dreams and why you started the things you are currently doing. The purpose, the intention and the reason you embarked on this journey in the first place; whatever the journey might be. It’s soul-crushing to just do things for the sake of doing without purpose or guidance. Always write everything down in detail and use it as a reference point every now and then.”

I also have handwritten notes on my walls at home, visuals and a calendar to help me stay on track when it comes to my dreams. And also this dark, past experience has made me realise that a path that lacks guidance or an end goal can easily be side-tracked by human beings or one’s own lack of focus. It’s vital that you aren’t worried about what other people are doing or saying. Or put other people first to the point that you forget about yourself and your own purpose. It is true that, “Most accomplished people in the industry (and life in general) are focused on what they are doing, how they can better themselves and better their tomorrow. They zone in on their objectives and drown out the noise, which is one of the most important life rules and the secret behind a lot of my accomplishments.

DREAMING AND WINNING

Always remember; you can’t stop dreaming big just because it makes some people uncomfortable. You can’t stop working hard to achieve those dreams just because it exposes other people’s laziness and lack of ambitions. And you definitely can’t stop your commitment to your ever-evolving goals just because you forgot where and WHY you started or that you’ve allowed family, friends, or the world to derail you. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Remember the true value of hard work and patienceAlways remember to enjoy the ride…”

And I sure will do.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Farewell to my blog


I have enjoyed writing for many years since I was a little girl. When I created this blog, I wanted to share with the world some of my thoughts & the little that I know about the world. It has been a form of an open diary for me.

Since I am evolving & getting older, I have come to know some of the things I am good at and those I am really passionate about. I love to write, a lot & I hope I will continue to do so for as long as God allows me.

In my career of Public Relations & Communication I have come to love & enjoy corporate blogging.  It is for this reason that I will no longer be posting any new articles on this blog. If you have enjoyed my work & would love to follow my pieces, you can read endless articles I’ve written on the Discover Africa Group’s websites/ blogs; Drive South Africa, Overlanding Africa & Discover Africa.

I am also on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ & LinkedIn.


Thank you for all the support. Meet you on the other side. :)

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

My Steve Bantu Biko


I finished reading my 1st biography of Steve Biko in less than 12 hours. I turned after the last page to the sad realisation that I was actually done. What an insightful, intelligent young man who died too soon (at the age of 30). A great leader who not only believed and took pride in being black, but believed and took pride in other black fellows, both male and female. I have always heard of people speaking about Steve Biko on T.V. and I had read a sentence or two about him. In print, I most read passages where people were quoting him or speaking of his leadership and maybe about the ‘Black Consciousness Movement’. I knew that he had something to do with fighting for freedom but never really knew what he was, who he was and what he stood for. After reading Asanda Magaqa’s blog titled “Ndathi ukuze ndiziqonde, ndasabela kuBantu Stephen Biko” dated September 27, 2012 something in me said yide ufunde ngalomntu (read about this person already). I noticed that there’s something about the way people speak about Steve Biko that sets what he stood for apart. There are many struggle heroes that died back in the days that people write and talk about today but there is just something about Steve Biko that, somehow, inspires them. So, I decided I am not going to let my mind wonder any longer.

Bantu Stephen Biko had an “innate curiosity and fascination with the human condition, with humanity, with what being human truly is, particularly in Africa” (Wilson, 2011. Page 17). In my reading the “Steve Biko: A Jacana Biography” by Lindy Wilson (2011) I realised that this is a man I have a lot in common with, such an inspiration to anyone who has self identity issues, especially someone who is a South African and has experienced feeling inferior in the presence of another race other than her own. Steve Biko, like many other struggle heroes, believed that every human being on the living planet is equal despite the colour of their skin. As I read on I soon realised what set him apart from other struggle heroes I have read about; he was primarily concerned with the motivation of the black man. To make him believe that being black does not mean he is stupid or inferior to white. Being black means just that, being black. The blood is the same, the way you breath and what you breath.

 ­
Steve Biko was born on 18 December 1946 and died on the 12th of September 1977. “According to evidence given to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission led by Det.-Sgt. Gideon Nieuwoudt at his amnesty hearing in 1998, Biko sat down on a chair facing his interrogator, Capt. Daantjie Siebert, who immediately ordered him to stand. Later, when Biko sat down again, Siebert grabbed him by the chest and yanked him to his feet. Nieuwoudt asserts that ‘Biko pushed the chair forward and lunged with his fist.’ Five men then assaulted him simultaneously, ‘Blows were aimed backwards and forwards’, which also flung him against the walls of the narrow room. Nieuwoudt thrashed him with a reinforced hosepipe. ‘In the momentum’, he said, ‘Mr Biko hit his head, fell, seemed confused and dazed... Siebert then told me to chain him to the [horizontal] bars of the security gate with arms outstretched [at shoulder height]... two sets of hand-cuffs and leg irons also attached – standing.’ He was left in this crucifying position for six hours, only able to move his head. Three to four hours later, when Biko asked for water his words were incoherent as if ‘under the influence of liquor’, Nieuwoudt went on to testify. That night Biko was left lying on a urine-wet mat, still shackled by leg-irons on his feet which were locked onto the walls. Although Lt.-Col. P.J. Goosen, Officer Commanding, Eastern Cape Security Police, spoke at the inquest into Biko’s death about his suspicion at the time that Biko had ‘suffered a stroke’ and said he had called in a doctor, Nieuwoudt reported at the TRC hearing that the first doctor only appeared 24 hours after the injury and to no effect, leaving Biko shackled in leg-irons and handcuffs for another night. On 11 September, though the specialist evidence indicated brain damage, medical approval was given for him to be driven (naked) in the back of a Landrover hundreds of kilometres to Pretoria, where he died from head injuries he had earlier sustained” (Wilson, 2011. Page 13).

This is very sad. It touches the very core of your being. It makes one wonder what is one doing with one’s life when someone died at such a prime time in his life, fighting for his country. Steve Biko was a man who believed in himself and his abilities as a human being and, as a result, instilled in others these same values- that they must ‘discover and empower themselves with their own resources’ (Wilson, 2011. Page 14). In the book, the most dominant of his quotes: “the most potent weapon of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed” with which he wanted to challenge the blacks not to be a part of their own oppression shows how he believed and “defined  ­
Black Consciousness as ‘an inward-looking process’ to ‘infuse people with pride and dignity’ and that ‘We have set out on a quest for a true humanity.’ (Wilson, 2011. Page 14)

In the book it states that in 1966 Biko went to UNNE at Wentworth in Durban to study medicine where he entered the university keen for debate and participation in student politics. It is said that in his first year he went as an observer to the July congress of the National Union of South African Students (Nusas), in spite of the many black student groups who disagreed with this decision and with his view of the non-racial approach. “In the following year, 1967, he went as a delegate to the congress held at Rhodes University, Grahamstown. Biko immediately challenged Nusas to take active stance against the segregated residential facilities Rhodes University had imposed on the congress: those classified as ‘Indians’ and ‘Coloureds’ were to stay in the town whilst Africans were required to stay some distance away in a church hall in the ‘location’; whites, on the other hand, could stay in the university residences. At the outset of the conference the executive of Nusas dealt with this by bringing in a resolution condemning the Rhodes University Council for not allowing blacks into the residences. Biko then moved a private motion proposing that the conference adjourn until they could find a ‘non-racist venue’” (Wilson, 2011. Page 30). I am in awe as I read on. I come to the realisation of my own inhibitions, inhibitions of the mind. Inhibitions that have always made me feel inferior because I am black. Reading this book helped me realise that I no longer have to be ashamed of being black when I am amongst other races. I no longer have to speak ‘better English’ than my black counter parts when we are amongst other races so that they (other races) can see I am the better, more intelligent and smarter black so that they can accept me and regard me as one of their own.

See, this is what happens when you grew up amongst people that always made you doubt yourself. When you are small and English is not your mother tongue you are at a disadvantage. If you don’t read anything at all, I feel, you are at (some kind of) a disadvantage too because, I believe, that people that read have a kind of knowledge that non-readers do not have. Their imaginations and intellectuality is more challenged and therefore more exercised than non-readers. After reading this book I realised that being black is enough. It is not a curse, doom or condemnation that one  ­
must die or regard oneself as stupid or inferior to other races. One of the things that inspired me in the book was when he was still at the Rhodes visit when he realised “that for a long time I had been holding onto the whole dogma of non-racism almost like a religion, feeling that it was sacrilegious to question it... I began to feel there was a lot of lacking in the proponents of the non-racist idea... They had this problem, you know, of superiority, and they tended to take us for granted and wanted us to accept things that were second-class.” Also in the book it goes to show that
there was also an assumption that all affairs were conducted in English. This gave an immediate disadvantage to those for whom English was not their mother tongue. It was an extraordinary experience for blacks to listen to their own lives being articulated by whites, who had had an infinitely superior education, yet had had no experience of the reality of being black.” Biko recalls the effect: “You are forced into a subservient role of having to say ‘yes’ to what they are saying because you cannot express it so well.’’ (Wilson, 2011. Page 31). Being around whites and not knowing how to speak English (well) makes you feel inadequate. Their accent makes you feel they are the smartest beings alive. When you see white you see educated, money (or wealth) and smart and you feel so small and immobile like all of a sudden you can’t move or do anything. All in all you feel inferior. Generally black people think white people are more intelligent than them. So by Black Consciousness Steve Biko wanted to erase all this. I, too, hate succumbing to this idea so I will not anymore. I have experienced, at first hand, feeling inferior to a white person more than once. This was not due to how smart they were or their bank balance. It was not because of what they had said or did to me or anybody else. It was due to the idea I had in my head.

Steve Biko stirred within a germ of an idea that conscieted black people into analysing their socio-political condition by recognising that they could be their own liberators by resisting their oppressor with a different mental attitude (Black Conciousness). This attitude came as motivation to inspire and make black people see that they were actually not the opposite of inferior. He wanted blacks to be confident in themselves. For example, non-white is a negation of being. According to the biography, it indicates a desire to become white eventually. It implied that “whiteness” was the norm to which one attached all other people whose own culture and identity had been negated. So non-white was soon removed from Saso’s  ­
vocabulary (Wilson, 2011. Page 42). [SASO stands for South African Student Organisation of which Biko was its first president]. It is not nice to black people being referred to as if they’re retarded or non-existent. A lot of people like to refer to black people as if they are not around, like they’re not watching. Most people in power or those who think they’re better (or superior, if I may say) like to talk about (the majority) blacks as if they do not have any sense of responsibility about who they are and the things they do, their destiny and society, their values and where they come from. So being called non-white is like being called something that is non-existent. Non-something. Not there. And so Saso named themselves black.

Also, because Biko believed that nobody should be cast in a mould, he only became president of Saso for a year (1969-1970). He wanted everybody to be given a fair chance to shine, to be on top, educative and question authority with respect and good intent. And so in July 1970 Barney Pityana became the 2nd president of Saso and Biko the editor of the Saso newsletter. In August that year he began the column “I write what I like” and always signed it “Frank Talk”. Throughout the following two years this column enabled the evolution of the philosophy of Black Consciousness to be recorded and expressed.

There is clearly something evident about Steve Biko; he was a force to be reckoned with. Whether he is dead or alive, that does not make a difference to me. His mark in South African politics is one that will always be fixed and one thing that is for sure is that he was an inspiration, not only to black South Africans but to people of the world too. He instilled in black people confidence and self-belief about themselves that no form of any kind of discrimination could ever defy, quite frankly.

Asanda Mcoyana

Ref:
Lindy Wilson.2011.Steve Biko: A Jacana Pocket Biography.Jacana Media. Auckland Park, South Africa.

Admission Essay, August 2011

2011 was one of the happiest years of my life. This is not because I was rich or that I had won the lottery. In actual fact I was broke beyond the definition of the word broke. What made me so happy that year was the realisation that I was actually blessed with many things in my life and one of those things was my ability to know when to take charge of something. One of the things I took charge of was my career.

When I left radio the previous year I was very heart broken even though I had left with very big plans for my future. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do but I knew deep in my heart that I was going to do something that was going to change my life forever. Fast forward a year later I was at CPUT applying to study for Public Relations Management. Is this a dream? Am I in some world where only the best things happen to people? Well I was not too sure and I still am not.

When I went to enquire about this course I was told to compile a portfolio which comprised of a hand written essay about PR as well as a 1000-word essay titled 'This is me'. I did and below is a software version of the essay I wrote in order for me to get accepted. I wanted to share it with you hoping that it would inspire you somehow. Even though my insight about this exciting career has increased, I decided not to edit the letter and give it to you as it is.  Enjoy the read.

"A career in communications is what I aim for. I love exciting challenges. In 2010 I worked for a community radio station in Upington, Northern Cape. It was such a small organisation with so much to do. So, as an employee I had many job titles. These titles included on-air presenting, news reading and being a journalist at the same time. As such, my coleagues and I were also required to assist and commentate at promotional events for the station or for clients (advertisers). Having done all this, my coleagues and I had to come up with ideas to inform, influence and persuade people. People who were our potential listeners. Being an adventurous and curious person that I was (and still am), I never got enough of what I was doing at the station. At the back of my mind I always knew there was more to what we were doing despite having just matric and working for an NGO. I knew one could make this a career and through my hunger to learn and my willingness to explore new frontiers in media I discovered Public Relations Management.

God answered my prayers when I had to volunteer for a month at a community centre in Elsies River, Cape Town, because then I was open and introduced to a whole new world. Having been in Cape Town for a while now I am ready to empower and develop myself with a proper qualification in PR in order to make it into this cut throat industry. I am very enthusiastic and passionate about my work and I know there are no short cuts to success.

There are a few careers that offer so many benefits and there is a huge sense of satisfaction in planning a communications project and seeing the end results. Part of being in public relations is being an insider behind the scenes and getting the inside job done.

The skills within this field such as writing, speaking, research and establishing strategic relationships are important to any job so after I have studied I will graduate prepared with real-world skills. I like a fast-paced and exciting environment where everyday is a challenge. Events planning, publicist work, freelance writing, media relations manager, speech writer, practitioner for a PR firm and so many things I can be.The future is mine to shape and that is why I want to study PR @ CPUT."

:)

Friday, April 20, 2012

Sing it Sister, Sing it.

I love song.
Song is one of the things I cling to when I'm feeling down and low.
I love music. It is one of the essential things in my survival tool-kit. It speaks to me and speaks to my soul. Sometimes when the words in the song cannot speak to me all I need is the beat, the pattern and the way in which the song is sung. The sound of the voices do things to my heart I cannot explain.

I love music because it speaks to me. It heals me. It makes me feel worse sometimes but just seems better than crying on someone else's shoulder. It is my best friend, in a way. It helps me become creative, opens me up and inspires me to be the best. Gives me hope that there is more to love, gives me hope that there is more to life than meets the eye.

With song I am home. When I am alone with song I am at peace with myself. I am alone but I am with all else. Everything makes sense. I am only me, no worries. Nothing. Everything becomes it. I know everything. I can see everything and I become anything I have ever wished to be.

Song speaks to me in volumes. Tells me things that I want to hear- the truth, the lies, the possibilities of being me, the possibilities of being free. It speaks to me in all languages. We go places together. It keeps my secrets. It accepts me and makes me look for the real me and teaches me to accept what I find.  Song judges me and tells me I am imperfect. It is okay to be imperfect. Song tells me I am the best. Gives me courage that I can do everything I set my mind to. Song is never jealous of me. Song loves memore than anyone and anything else in this world.
Thank God I am Song.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

A Journey Begginning

Where do I start?? I don't know where to begin to tell a story of how great life can be. The sweet & sour life story that is bitter than sea water. The simple truth that life has taught me.

It's been way too long since I've written my column for the Black Rock bulletin & I have to say the guilt of not finding the mojo to write my contributions has become quite unbearable. I don't know what made me lose my enthusiasm for this whole writing thing because I have plenty of things to write about and share with the rest of the world. But somehow I feel like I've found the reason why.

I am always striving for perfection & approval - some kind of acceptance. In everything that I do, I give my all trying to please other people to prove myself worthy enough to be ''around''. And this hit me in a very bad but educational way.

I work for an NGO, a community Radio Station. And on my arrival here I did the 2nd biggest programme on radio; the drive-time show. It was ok!! I received a lot of compliments & praises of which I am grateful for. But Ok??! I don't do ok; I do GOOD. I do BETTER & I do the BEST! It was always ok & I hated ok 'cause I wanted the BEST show not an 'OK' show. And because I felt this way I got myself a mentor, someone I thought was respected in the industry and was good at producing/presenting my kind of show. And not even long enough for me to remember, my so-called-mentor showed me that this is an entertainment industry! He let me down by being unprofessional and if you ask me about the mentorship, well it never amounted to anything. And because the only thing I knew about Radio was its theory and writing ideas down, I screamed on top of my voice and lungs until my manager didn't want to listen to me anymore. Her excuse was...(I don't even remember it except that she just got really tired of me and my ''creative'' complaints to get me out of her department). Since my unhappiness here I have joined the admin department, an experience I don't wanna share! I know you might be feeling confused & asking yourself WTF??

Well one thing I have learned about life is that we waste a lot of time and sometimes it is good to waste time but only when you make it worth your while. I have waisted a great deal of time being here but I am happy because I made the most of it and I have to add I did enjoy each moment as it was valuable to me in everyway. People always say that quitting is not an option and that is true. Quitting for me was not an option but part of the plan. Now where I am at in life I am loving myself and I am learning to extend this love to others in every encounter. No matter who we are, what we do & where we live: We all have our own unique journeys. Mine began the day I was born, the day I was conceived in my mother's womb and I can tell you now that that fact alone-that I was born- makes me worthy enough to be here. I have nothing to prove so that I can be called ''good-enough''. And my wish right now is for you to realise and believe the same thing about yourself. Even if you went through something more challenging than me just know and remember that we are each responsible for our own life- no other person is or ever will be. In your own life you might be feeling very lonely, like a failure with people judging you and calling you unworthy.

Well you can feel all the sad you like but somehow you need to acknowledge the things that are happening in your life and ask yourself why they are there. Heal the wounds of your past so you can continue living your own life the way you were designed to. Remember that you don't need anyone's approval to follow your heart and to follow your dreams. Your thoughts right now, your intention of everything you do, the reaction you have on everything happening in your life, your attitude; will all determine the person you want to become in the next minute and forward-And let that be the person you want to be.

Choose your heroes carefully. I chose a hero & he let me down! In these times exceptional role-models are difficult to find. The world we live in has now become common-place to idolize even the most dishonourable of individuals all because of the titles they hold with us thinking they are experts in their fields. Don't undermine your own potential. As I lift my eyes in search of a guide, I realise I am my own guide with God in front of me. Through this journey; I am following. And if you are wondering (like me) about where to start, you start right where you are.

ASANDA MCOYANA

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

And then i will always wonder.

I am turning 22 years on Mandela day & I am extemely excited. Growing up is daunting kodwa very exciting because of all the suprises life throws @ you as you grow up. And as much as growing up is exciting I always ask myself why does a person have to grow. Not that I have a problem with change, just that as you grow up you do things you never would have thought doing as a child.

You go to the disco in high school, you date, you club, fail & pass your exams with flying colours & you remain proud. People come in & out of your life uncontrollably. You cry, you laugh, you stay excited. You fall in & out of love with the passing of minutes like there is no tomorrow. And through it all I've learnt & accepted that that is just how life is.

In my 21 years of existence I've learnt that the way you carry yourself will determine the way people treat you. I am not talking about people who judge or treat you like a nobody. I am talking about those who will always admire you, appreciate you, guide you; they do all those things for you 'cause they know you are worthy of all that respect.
In turning 22 years I really hope & wish that growing up will be worth it @ the end of the day & that even though I cannot understand now why the universe unfolds the way it does, I will rejoice & say I'm loving to be Asanda Mcoyana- like I do now :-)